WHAT IS DISCIPLINE ???
It's teaching your child appropriate behavior.
The goals of Discipline are to:
1.Help prevent problems as your child grows older.
2. Instill a lifelong sense of self-discipline.
Disciplining your child in a loving, fair way is one of your most important
jobs as a parent.
Why is Discipline Important:
Because it's the key to how your child will behave.
Today: Appropriate and consistent discipline can make life smoother for
your child, your family and you.
Tomorrow: The way you handle discipline will help shape the kind of adult
your child will become.
Discipline is an ongoing process:
1. The process should begin early in children's loves.
2. As children mature, they respond to different discipline methods.
3. Discipline continues as self-discipline as children grow up.
Discipline Helps Children:For example, it encourages them to:
Develop Self Control:
Parents can help their children handle feelings of:
1. Anger
2.Jealousy
3.Helplessness
4. Fear
Children who learn to handle these feelings are less likely to have temper
tantrums, whine or fight.
Respect Others:
Children benefit from learning to:
1. Say "please," "thank you," and "excuse me".
2.Respect others' belongings, privacy, feelings and differences.
Express Emotions Appropriately:
Talking about feelings -- and saying "I am sorry" or "That hurt my feelings" --
can help prevent misunderstandings and resentment.
Build Self-Esteem:
Giving children attention and praise when they behave well helps them feel
good about themselves.
Become Self_Reliant:
It's important for children to master skills for taking care of themselves
(such as dressing and watching) and to learn to do simple chores. These
help children develop confidence.
Develop Orderliness:
Good work habits (finishing tasks, putting things away, etc.) help children
succeed at home and school. They also help ensure success at work when
children become adults.
WHY DO CHILDREN MISBEHAVE???
1.Being Tired Hungry or Sick
Children may lose control for any of these reasons.
2. Misunderstanding
Children may not understand that a certain behavior is wrong.
3. Anger
Children may become angry when they don't get what they want. If parents
give in, the child learns that anger "works" and will continue to use it.
4. Fear
Children may misbehave when they are afraid of something( such as darkness,
new people, failing in school or losing a parent's love).
5. Jealousy
Children may misbehave to get attention if they are jealous. For example, they
may be jealous of a new baby.
6. Hurt
Children may try to get back at people who have hurt or disappointed them.
You Can encourage Positive Behavior - Remember these basic steps:
1. Give your child love
All children need to know they are loved. Let your child know that you love
him or her -- no matter what. This is a key to effective discipline.
2. Listen to your child Carefully
Encourage your child to share thoughts and feelings. Your interest helps
your child feel values.
Set aside a special time with your child each day. For Example, talk
together during a walk, while doing the dishes or before bedtime.
3. Understand your Child
Needs and wants change as children grow older. For example:
a)Young children need to know parents are near.
b)Most teenagers need some privacy and time with friends.
Listening and observing carefully will help prepare you to deal with your
child's changing needs and wants.
4. Set Limits
All children need limits to help them stay safe and learn self-control.
a) Make sure your child understands the limits.
b) Explain the reasons for the limits.
c) Remind your child about limits when needed. Children may test you to
see if you're serious. Or they may simply forget what they're supposed to do.
d) Enforce limits firmly and fairly.
MORE ON DISCIPLINE
Praise Good Behavior:
Praising your child after good behavior will encourage that behavior. Older
children may also respond well to special privileges. Be careful not to over
do this.
Promote Independence:
Allow your child to help make decisions, if appropriate. As your child grows
older, give increased responsibility for setting his or her own limits.
Encourage and comfort your child when he or she experiences failure.
Talk about what to do differently next time.
Discuss Emotions:
Tell your child it's OK to feel angry or frustrated. But teach that he or she
needs to express those feelings in appropriate ways. Let your child know
your feelings, too.
Encourage Responsibility:
Give your child jobs to do at home that fit his or her age and ability. Even
very young children can put toys and clothes.
Assign jobs to each family member. Rotate jobs for fairness, if possible.
Set time limits for completing jobs.Praise your child for completing tasks.
This helps build confidence.
My son is helping me allot. When he turn into 4 years old, he started doing
cleaning all his toys. He is cleaning his mess. After we came from shopping
he is helping to get the things inside. After he came from school he remove
his clothes and he is arranging well. When i am cleaning vessels he want to
wash the spoons.
Set a Good Example:
Children learn from watching others, especially their parents. If you want your
child to:
a) be on time, you should be, too
b) pick up his or her clothes, you should pick up yours
c) speak softly, so should you
d) be polite, you should use "please," thank you," etc., yourself
e) stick to limits, you should set limits for yourself and stick to them.
When your child Misbehaves, takes action that is appropriate for him or her
and the situation. For Example, Consider:
A firm Reminder:
Say only what's necessary to stop the behavior. For example, use a firm n with
a young child, or say "that's enough" to an older child.
A Behavior Chart:
Agree on the expected behavior, a reward for the behavior and a consequences
for misbehavior.
Record successful behavior -- with a chart of check marks, for example.
Appropriate rewards may include a special outing or having a friend spend
the night. Avoid material rewards, such as money or candy.
Repayment:
If your child damages property, have the child apologize to the owner and
repair the damage or pay for it.
Removing a Privilege:
For example, you could forbid your child to watch TV for a while. Be sure
your child understands why you took away the privilege.
Calling a Time-Out:
This may work if your child has lost control.
a) Bring your child to a safe place that has no distractions.
b) Have your child stay there until he or she calms down -- or for a set length
of time ) for example, one minute or less for each year of age).
c) Make it clear that the time will be increased if your child comes out too soon.
When the time is up, praise your child for calming down. Sometimes me/ my
husband give the time - out to my kid. It will work out.
Professional Help:
Ask for help if discipline becomes a problem. Check your phone book for
family counseling services, mental health services or social service agencies.
Don't Use Physical Punishment:
Spanking, hitting, pushing, shaking etc., can hurt a child physically and
mentally.
(Some actions -- such as shaking -- can even kill young children.) Using
physical panishment also sets a bad example.
Note: Some states, scholl district and social service agencies have laws or
rules prohibiting physical punishment in foster homes, schools and licensed
day-care centers.
Be firm, fair and consistent. If you're feeling angry or upset, take time to cool
off before deciding what to do.
Tips for Correcting Misbehavior:
1. Choose Appropriate Consequences:
Ones that fit the misbehavior. For example, if your child draws on the wall,
have him or her clean it off.
2. Tell your child why???
You are taking action.
3. Limit How Long??
The consequences last. A time-out should last for only a short period.
Privileges may be withdrawn for a day or several days.
4. Control your Emotions:
When you are upset. This may be hard. But you will be setting a good example.
Remember, if you are angry, cool off before taking action.
5. Follow Through:
On your decisions. Yours child is more likely to pay attention and respect you
if you do.
6. Communicate your Love:
Explain to your child that your love remains unchanged even when discipline
is necessary.
EFFECTIVE DISCIPLINE TAKES AN ONGOING EFFORT:
1. UNDERSTAND: Your child's needs.
2. REWARD: Your child for positive behavior.
3. DISCOURAGE: Misbehavior firmly, fairly and consistently.
4. ADAPT: Your methods of discipline as your child grows older.
WHATEVER YOUR CHILD'S AGE, LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING
ARE THE KEYS FOR TEACHING GOOD BEHAVIOR!
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